


No Casualties

by MikeTheFairy



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Post-Canon, Character's Name Spelled as Hanji, Character's name spelled as Jäger (cauz that's how german works X)), Comfort, Erwin is a sap actually, Eventual Smut, Feels, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, I don't know, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Military, Non-Binary Chara, Other, but I'm not up to date please don't spoil me, erwin is not a dick I swear, eventual polyamory, it begins as eruri, maybe he's too romantic, no one dies, non-binary hanji, slightly out of character I guess? you tell me, some angst but not too much, will update tags as I go
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-29
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-08 13:16:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12865272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MikeTheFairy/pseuds/MikeTheFairy
Summary: This story is set after the episode of the Reiss's Cave. So basically, it's as if the conflict ended with the discovery of the titam serum and Historia's coronation. Bertholdt and Reiner either ran away, or are dead, I'm not sure, but in any case they are not a part of this story.As fighting, and now, saving the titans became less and less dangerous, old emotions and buried feelings inevitably resurface. Levi and Erwin can finally breathe, and why not, maybe live in some little peace. But peace is never around for very long when you have a certain Eren Jäger inevitably messing things up, and slowly but surely making his way to Levi's heart... Much without him knowing anything about it.And Erwin in the background being like JUST KISS ALREADY (aka me)(This work is inspired by Mission Accomplished by Arlene0401, I just fell in love with her concept of having a mission where everybody came back alive, and this meaning a new era for a few soldiers...)





	1. No Casualties, Sir.

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Mission Accomplished](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6341566) by [Arlene0401](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arlene0401/pseuds/Arlene0401). 



> Hey guyyys! Sooo, one of the (many) reasons the update for The Prince and The Gift (my other victuri fic) took so long, was because I was writing this little one at the same time!
> 
> Okay so I'm gonna be honest with you I'm not exactly sure yet where I'm taking this XD I know the general direction of story, but all the details are still very unclear X) So if ever you have any idea or wanna pitch in, please go ahead, I'm all ears for suggestions! XD
> 
> Thank you all and have a good read! ^-^
> 
> You can also find me on Tumblr! https://www.tumblr.com/blog/mikethefairy

            Levi stood in the middle of the field, arms shaking with exhaustion. Filthy blood covered him from head to toes, making his sweaty hair soggy with the substance. Not his blood, though, nor his squad's. Only titan blood. His whole body was engulfed in fog as it evaporated, giving the impression he was combusting alive. Realization hadn't dawned upon him yet, too focused as he was on getting everybody on their horses and moving back towards the Wall. They wouldn't be there for another four days, with how far they had gone beyond it. Luckily, all the titans they had encountered up until now had either been far away or low in numbers, successful as they had been in previous missions; they had either extracted the humans inside them, or when face with resistance, exterminated them. Better to kill one confused, potentially aggressive human in a deadly shell, than lose two or three well-trained and useful soldiers.

Levi’s squad had just fulfilled their mission, establishing a new shelter made of Eren's titan stone at the edge of the clearing. The path to the ocean was now almost completed, with similar refuges built every twenty miles or so, and only a day's worth of horseback still separated them from the shore. They wouldn't finish clearing the way for another month or two, but sometimes it felt as if they could already smell the salt in the air. Specially trained garrison soldiers would meet them on the way back, heading for the new fort to inhabit it, reinforce it, and most importantly, hold it. A task that seemed nearly impossible to accomplish two years ago, but was now a realistic goal thanks to Hanji's genius developing an anti-serum. Using samples of the vial they found in the Reiss Chapel, they managed to synthetize through complex chemical procedures Levi didn't give two shits about an antidote for titans. Basically, if the soldiers could reach one of the creature's neck and inject the synthetized liquid in their weak spot, the beast would go limp and they would be able to extract the human stuck inside. At the beginning, staying long enough on the titans neck to sting it had been a hard feat and cost many lives, but new strategies and more precise 3DMG equipment had finally, after too many years, led them there. Levi was standing in the middle of this field, surrounded by his team and newly rescued titans, hearing Mikasa say loud and clear:

"There were no casualties, sir."

No casualties. Not one. Even the wounded were not at risk of dying. A rush of excitement and adrenaline filled Levi, but he willed it down just as quickly. He couldn't let himself lose control, not now. His head needed to be clear; they still hadn't reached the Walls, and he would have to see them all back safely to the headquarters before he would allow himself to feel anything.

His cold voice echoed long after they had all gone in the empty space, the words said through tight lips and a curt nod;

"We are going home."

*****

The wooden door clicked behind him as it closed. Levi passed a hand over his face, an exhausted sigh escaping his lips. The past week of travelling and fighting had taken a toll on his body. Although he hated to admit it, years passed and he wasn't getting any younger. Still, as the soldiers stood proud under a roar of applause when Levi announced to the large crowd awaiting their return that no one had died, he could still feel a youthful, eternally persistent teal gaze on his back. The corporal had given up years ago on understanding the irrational, inexplicable attraction the soldier Eren Jäger had for him. Levi wasn’t sure the brat fully understood how bad of an idea it was to be crushing on him. He was getting old, he would never be able to keep with someone with as much energy as the shifter. The boy still had so much to see, so much to explore, why would he want to settle down so early? Even if Levi forgot for one second about the age difference, there were still so many things that could go wrong. The corporal was his superior, and accusations of abuse of power would start raining if anyone ever found out about this unusual relationship. That was of course without mentioning how anyone who dared get close to him tended to die very quickly, leaving him alone again and again. But the most important argument as to why something between them could never happen was the only person yet who had survived Levi… The commander. Erwin had been his lover for years now, but although the whole corps knew about them, they never mentioned their relationship explicitly. Eren was very much aware that they were together though, and yet he kept throwing glances, subtly flirting and asking Levi out again and again. When he realized it wouldn’t work, he changed tactics. The shifter started to appear at his side more often than not, obeying his every order, even going that extra mile to please him and keep everything clean around him. Simply said, the kid would jump straight into the open mouth of a titan if Levi told him to do so, and the man could simply not understand why. But now was not the time to dwell on this… problematic matter; he still had to write his report.

The corporal shrugged his jacket off as well as his thoughts, neatly folding the piece of clothing in half over a small chair on his left. The desk that accompanied it wasn’t any bigger, and its whole surface was messily covered in documents, maps and numbers. The raven-haired man was in Erwin’s quarters, even though his own room was much bigger. When Historia was crowned, the Survey Corps saw their funding dramatically increase, and they now had enough extra money to relocate some officers in much more decent rooms, and renovate the others’. Even the barracks had been partially rebuilt to add some more private rooms and better isolation in the walls. The only person in the whole corps who had kept his old room was, of course, Erwin Smith. He defended himself by saying he was a simple man and didn’t need anything more. In all honesty, Levi didn’t believe a word of that. Instead, he strongly suspected it was because the man had gotten used to his small office and was reluctant to let go of his old habits. Levi snorted at the thought, not too sure if he found it somewhat endearing or downright fucking stupid. Nonetheless, they still met in Erwin’s room at times, since the commander’s quarters were much further from the other officers and offered more privacy than his own.

As Levi wouldn’t be joined by his partner for the next hour and a half or so, he decided to jump in the shower first. At least the man had a private bathroom… He was more than eager to wash off the sweat and dirt of the previous days, and it took him three full body soap to finally feel clean again. When he was done, he went back in the room and pushed aside the piles of papers to free up some of the desk. Then he sat down, grabbed the ink and a quill, and started writing down his mission report while he waited for his lover to be done with his day.

*****

When Erwin came back to his room, he found Levi seated at his desk, as he often was, shoulders slunched over a few sheets and holding his head in his hands. The blond smiled softly, then leaned over so he could remove his boots with his sole hand. If he went any further with taking off his shoes, Levi would scold him for hours and make him rewash the floor, even if there wasn’t a speck of dirt on the surface.

"I’m back, Levi."

To his surprise, the raven didn’t answer. He didn’t even lift his head to greet him. His body looked awfully stiff and still, apart from a slight, almost imperceptible tremor in his shoulders. Erwin frowned and moved closer.

"... Levi? Is everything alright?"

A strangled sound barely escaped the smaller male’s lips. Worried, the commander put his hand on his lover’s shoulder and leaned over, noticing the half-written report laid on the desk in front of him. Odd spots of smeared ink and wrinkled paper blurred the words, as if drops of water had fallen here and there. _Drops of water_... Levi was... _crying_?

Before the blond could convince his lips to more and say anything, a few choked words escaped the now shivering body beneath him.

"N-no casualties... Erwin… No one. N-no one died." The last words were nothing but a whisper. "M-Mikasa, the Kirchstein boy, all the new kids..." Levi lifted his head a little, looking up in his lover’s eyes. His own were lined in red and shiny with tears. "Eren… They all made it back." Teal eyes flashed in Levi’s mind, and his heart clenched so much he just couldn’t hold it anymore and sobbed.

Erwin tightened his grip around him, caging his lover with his body. Levi hid his face in the crook of his arm, holding onto him with everything he had. Erwin let him cry for long minutes. Cry from the exhaustion, the stress, the relief… Cry for his fallen soldiers and friends whom the corporal wished so much they could have been here with him today. Let him cry for all the failed missions, all the useless deaths, and all the others would never quite be whole again. Cry for Isabel, Farlan, Petra, Auruo, Erd, Gunther, Mike, Moblit... Cry for a certain titan boy with teal eyes, whom Levi wouldn’t even let himself acknowledge how much he cared for. Who he had been so scared of losing, all these years. Erwin knew. That was okay. He let him cry.

 

 


	2. We Would Still Have Each Other

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALS ARE OVER MOUHAHAHAHA  
> For those still going through them, you got this!! You're almost done!
> 
> I finally have an idea were this is all going X), so enjoy this second chapter! It sort of angsty, but don't worry, it will all turn out just fine... 
> 
> Please dont be shy to leave comments or kudos hihi, they're always super appreciated! ^-^
> 
> (Btw I'm still working on the Prince and the Gift, no worries, it just always takes me longer to publish for that fic so this chapter was obviously done first X))

            Erwin stayed wrapped around Levi for a long time before he dared to move a little. When his back complained of having stayed still for a while in such a position, he gently grabbed the other by the shoulders and helped him get up.

"Come here, Levi, come here."

His lover probably expected to be put to sleep, but instead the commander led him to the small couch against the farthest wall facing the door, right beside the double bed. They sat next to each other, Levi laying his head against Erwin's left shoulder, so he could put his only arm around him. The blond sighed at the feeling of the small body against him, appreciating the moment for just how precious it was. When they had first started dating years ago, it had taken months for Levi to let himself be hugged or touched in any way, except when they had sex. Now, the smaller man was leaning onto Erwin's side and playing with his fingers or hair as if it was the most natural thing in the world.

            Erwin waited for his lover to calm down a little, and for his breathing to settle. Then, he laid his head on top of the other's.

"How do you feel?"

Under him, Levi sighed profoundly. "... Tired. It's just..." It took him a moment to continue, searching for the best words to express the amalgam of emotions swirling through him. "I never believed..." He snorted. "No, actually, I had never let myself _hope_ that one day something like this would happen. It's just... so much, and yet nothing has happened. Precisely _nothing_."

Erwin nodded against him. There wasn't anything he could say to that, simply because he felt exactly the same. Instead, he let the other go on.

"I wished... I wished for so many things, most them I knew would never happen, but this... I had never expected _this_. And now that it has happened, I don't know what to do about it."

Erwin straightened a bit at that, intrigued.

"What do you mean? You don't have to do anything."

Levi sighed again, and passed a heavy hand on his face.

"It's just... Should I feel sad? Happy? Relieved? Wary? All of that at the same time?" He chuckled a little, despite the bittersweet glaze in his eyes. "This is clearly too many emotions for me to handle."

Erwin smiled as well, and held the lithe body a bit stronger.

"Levi, Levi, Levi... You are allowed to let yourself feel, you know."

The man frowned almost cutely in response. At least, in Erwin's perception.

"But what if I don't want to?"

The taller man laughed softly at that, although a hint of sadness still tinged the sound.

"My love, I know feeling hurts, so much that sometimes you would rather be dead than to feel them. But isn't it the best thing someone could hope for in life as well?"

Levi didn't answer, clearly disagreeing but not knowing how to respond. Hearing the silence, Erwin sat up a bit and turned his face so he could look in the steel grey eyes.

"Levi, when you fell in love with me, I know you didn’t want to. You were so terrified of getting attached and then losing me that you made yourself believe it would be best if you kept that ache for yourself. You suppressed your emotions for two years before coming to talk to me. And not without Hanji’s help.

"… Three. It was three years."

Erwin chuckled.

"Three years, then. And we both know how well that went for you."

Levi refused to cross Erwin’s gaze, eyes lost in the distance. He didn’t exactly remember the last few months before his confession, everything lost in a blur of hurt and numbness. He had stopped taking care of himself, he had been barely eating and sleeping, unleashing all his aggression on his clueless squad members even as he felt horrible for doing so. He could have gone like that for a long time, too long really, if it hadn’t been for Hanji. Noticing their friend constantly stressed and losing health, they had gotten the best bottle of booze they could get their hands on, and taken him to spend the night on the stables’ rooftop, with no one to judge them but the stars. At first, Levi hadn’t said a word, accepting only the drink and a few refills, but once he had gotten started, there was no stopping him. They had talked, and talked, and talked, for hours long, until they were sure they would regret it the next morning. He had told Hanji about Erwin, about his fears, about Farlan and Isabel, about his life in the Underground… Damn him if he didn’t let a few tears fall as well. Hanji had listened to it all respectfully, offering counsel only when they thought it would be valuable. Even though he trusted them before, Levi was surprised with the amount of respect and affection he now felt for them. Hanji might just have been Levi’s first true friend since he had lost Isabel and Farlan.

However, the scientist could have never simply listened and call it a day, they absolutely _had_ to have taken some action. The next morning, when Levi woke up with the worst headache he’d had in years, he found that almost every single soldier and officer was outside, taking part in some major simulation of a recently created battle formation he had heard nothing about. Of course, who had been responsible for the whole ruckus? Fucking four eyes.

The castle had been practically empty… except for Levi and the commander. He had sighed at the obvious attempt at setting them up, but he had nonetheless made his way to the blond’s office, where the man was probably already planning their next attack. Levi had no idea what he would say, or how he would say it, but after the relief he had felt the previous night, he simply didn't have the energy to go back anymore. Would face rejection before bottling it all up again like he had done.

In the end, he didn’t have to. Erwin had accepted his half-veiled confession with a profound sigh of relief and a gentle smile, eyes suddenly less tired as a weight Levi never knew he carried vanished into thin air. Apparently, the man had been feeling the same for quite a while as well, but he had been too afraid of forcing Levi into something he didn't want, because of the power he held over the man's life, to ever say anything. Levi had waved all that away with no hesitation. They had kissed, slow and timid at first, growing more and more passionate with every instant, and had ended up getting each other off on Erwin’s desk. Then, they had been thankful for the empty castle.

Levi was jolted out of his thoughts as Erwin moved away and turned to face him. Suspicion filled him as he narrowed his gaze to look at his lover’s determined blue eyes. That look rarely announced anything good, as far as Levi was concerned.

"Levi. There is something I want to talk to you about."

Oh, dear Sina. What was Erwin going to ask of him this time...

"There’s something that I’ve noticed a while ago actually… And I just wanted to make sure that you know that you can tell me anything. Anything, Levi."

The man went silent, looking at the corporal as if he was expecting something. Levi just frowned a bit, confused at his lover’s obvious statement. He raised an eyebrow, wordlessly asking him to keep going. Erwin indulged him, expression unreadable.

"Since the moment we were together, there is one thing I’ve always wanted and worked towards; it is for you to be happy. You know how I said earlier that you could… let yourself feel?"

Levi was now openly frowning, stance growing defensive as he sat back a little. He didn’t like this.

"Well… I don’t think that you are doing that. And I don’t think that it is making you happy." Erwin sighed, and briefly look down at his hands. That was very unusual from him, as someone who had never submitted to anybody else. Apart from Levi, of course.

"Ever since we’ve been together, you’ve given me all of your love and more. Right after you confessed, you immediately started getting better. You were taking care of yourself again, and there was a new light in your eyes that made me think it was all worth it. But recently, I couldn’t help but notice that something changed in you."

Erwin's pale calculating eyes felt as if they were looking right through him.

 _Oh_. He knew where this was going. Levi’s lips were now sealed on a thin line, hands clenched in a fist on top of his knees. He didn’t want to hear it. Not from him. He wasn’t ready. He couldn’t-

"That light is flickering every single time that you lay your eyes on Eren Jäger."

That was it. He’d had enough of whatever was this ridiculous theory Erwin apparently had. Levi moved to get up, but a strong grip on his arm pinned him to the sofa.

"Levi, please don’t freak out, I’m not angry-

"I’m _tired_ , Erwin. There’s no fucking light going on and off, I’m just tired. Now, fucking let go of my arm."

"Oh, so you’re tired? Is that all, really? Is it because you’re tired that you stop eating every single time you see him walk in the room? Is that why you’ve been avoiding having both of us near each other at any cost for the past month? I’m sorry, Levi, but I don’t buy it when every single time Eren and I are in the same room together, you send him out to get you some tea, when you _already have a cup in front of you._ "

Levi sneered, and violently shrugged his arm free, aggression dripping from his every movement. He hated it when he got like that. He shouldn’t have to anymore.

"It was cold."

"Right. Your tea got cold. Then would you care to explain why you barely let me touch you these days, and even when you do, you’re just… Not there? You’re not there at all, Levi! It would take a fool not to notice it!"

The words fell as harsh as a slap. Heavy silence filled the space between them, a wave of hurt crashing through every fibre of Levi’s being. He knew his hands were slightly shaking and his eyes were wider than usual from the shock. He also knew that no one would ever notice such minimal changes in his otherwise stoic face. Except Erwin. Because that was just how well the man knew him. A man who was completely devoted to him and loved Levi beyond himself, who was more than he would ever deserve, and yet, that hadn’t been enough for the selfish little prick he was. He couldn't lose him. It was too much. The hurt was too great, unbearable-

Erwin exhaled shakily, a hesitant hand running through his perfectly smoothed hair.

"Levi. Please, listen to me. I… I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to accuse you of anything. I was just... trying to make a point. Maybe… help you be honest with yourself. But that’s not why I’m telling you all this. I brought up Eren because I want you to know that I don’t mind."

Silence again. Confusion ripped through Levi’s panic, gaze focused on Erwin biting his lips and obviously searching for his words.

"I don’t mind, alright? I… I actually think it’s quite a beautiful thing, to be able to love more than one person that way."

Levi struggled to get his words out around a tight throat, voice small.

"I don’t love him."

Erwin immediately gave him the look, daring him to actually believe what he had just said.

"Bullshit, Levi, and we both damn know just how much it is. You know, sometimes, I think that Eren isn’t as clueless as he appears. I think he knows very well that he has a chance, and that’s why he keeps pushing."

They stayed quiet for a few seconds, letting the moment sink in. _I don't love him..._ The words hadn’t sound right. He wasn’t sure he could say the contrary out loud either, but at least it didn’t feel as false. When Levi spoke again, he carefully eyed Erwin with a gaze veiled with suspicion and doubt.

"You… You don’t think that I don’t love you anymore?"

Erwin just fucking _scoffed_ at him.

"No, of course not. Why would I?"

Levi was at a loss of words, eyes searching around him some sort of indication that he wasn’t just losing his mind… Or that Erwin was.

"Hum, well, usually, people only fall in love with one person at the time…"

Erwin’s features softened at that, a tender smile stretching his lips.

"Levi… Since when have you done things like other people?" The captain couldn’t help rolling his eyes, even though the man had a point. "And besides, I really do think this ability you have to love more than anyone else should be something you cherished. I mean, isn’t there nothing more beautiful and pure than love? Why would it be so wrong to feel this way just for one person more?"

Levi frowned, still searching for the hidden trap. This couldn’t be real. Erwin wasn’t just handing him Eren on a silver platter, with no buts whatsoever. This wasn’t like him.

"Are you drunk?"

The commander closed his eyes briefly and huffed, barely dissimulating his frustration.

"No, Levi, I'm _not_ drunk. I just want you to be happy. Is that so bad?" His words were only met with stubborn silence. "You know, Levi, people from all three Walls have been waiting for a moment like this to start living again. Why shouldn’t you?" Still nothing. "Levi, do you believe in destiny?"

That finally got a rise out of the smaller man, who scoffed and look at Erwin like he was about to ask him if he believed in their lords and saviors, the Three Goddesses of the Walls.

"No, I fucking don’t. People live and people die, that’s all. You know that. There’s no magic to it, no rule, no reason. Maybe just a bit of luck. Why the fuck are you asking me this, Erwin?"

"Luck? Alright, let’s use your words. I’m asking you this, because I find that you and Eren have been unusually… lucky, as you say. You both are the most important front line soldiers, and are exposed to more danger than any other scout. And you both fucking _survived._ Don’t you think it’s astounding that you did? You were given chance after chance to live what you have to live together. Why waste it this time?"

Levi dropped his eyes, letting his heart and mind process his lover’s words. He subconsciously pressed his lips together and drummed his fingers on his thighs. These were all small indicators that he was starting to consider that Erwin's words might be the truth, but that he was still searching for the catch. The corporal sighed heavily, running a tired hand over his face. Carefully, he let his eyes meet Erwin's, his words falling hesitantly from his mouth.

"You want me to be with him? To ask him out?"

The taller man nodded. "Yes, if that's what you want. I want you to have the relationship that you want with him, whatever that is."

"And it wouldn't change anything to what we had?"

"It wouldn't change anything. I would still love you, and you would still love me. We would still have each other." Erwin's words dripped with an understanding that ran deeper than anything else. Levi looked away, lost in his thoughts.

"I... I'm not sure what it is yet that I feel for Eren." Erwin nodded respectfully, understanding that his lover would need time to make some sense of his emotions. Just as he had when he had fallen for the blond. "When I realized that I did feel something, I just... panicked. I already had you, and you were more than I could ever possibly ask for, and I didn't understand why it wasn't enough. Why I had to go and lay my eyes on some young, inexperienced, handful of a brat that was nothing compared to what you were already giving me. But leaving you for Eren has never been an option. I was so damn _terrified_ of losing you, I decided to repress it all. I had already done it once for years, why couldn't I do it again?" A sad chuckle left his pale lips. "Well, I guess I haven't quite succeeded in that, now, have I." The raven-haired man suddenly locked gaze with his lover, scrutinizing the icy blue eyes. "Erwin, are you really okay with this?"

The man took a moment to ponder his answer, searching for any ounce of doubt within himself. "Yes, I am."

Levi watched him closely for another minute, waiting for the composure to break, for him to change his mind, but nothing happened. Erwin's expression stayed the same, unfaltering confidence emanating from him in the most natural way, as always. Finally, Levi warily leaned forward, laying his head on Erwin's chest, and released a shaky breath.

"I love you, you amazing son of a bitch".

The commander chuckled, relieved at seeing his lover acting like himself again. He wrapped his arm around the smaller body, holding him close and peppering his head with soft kisses. Levi felt all the tension of the past months fade away under the attentions, his heart finally somewhat at peace. After a minute, the raven-haired man raised his eyes again, a curious and slightly mocking glow shining in his gaze.

"You know, my love isn't all beautiful and pure, you fucking sap."

Erwin looked shocked for an instant, before bursting into laughter.

"That's true. I'm not too sure how I feel about that part yet, but I can't say I disagree with your taste. Eren has grown to be quite handsome with the years..."

Levi scoffed. "Of course he has, I don't just fall for some ugly-looking, nasty bastard..."

Erwin cracked a smile. "Of course you don't. But what I meant is that I don't think I would mind some... exploration with Eren. If you both want to, that is.

Levi raised an interested brow. "Oh? You won't get all jealous on me and shit if we do?"

Erwin strangely looked away. "I don't think so... I've grown quite fond of the boy over time. Even more since I've known you liked each other, actually."

Levi looked at him, pleasantly surprised. "Wow. I never thought you the type to hit on somebody else's crush. Especially when that crush is a solid fifteen years younger than us both."

Erwin grinned mischievously. "Speak for yourself. That's ten years for me."

Levi glared at him before viciously punching him on the shoulder, his expression full of defiance. "Are you saying that I'm old?"

The commander knew he was in trouble, but he couldn't manage to hold back a snicker as he rubbed the pain out of his arm. "No... Simply older."

That earned him the most unimpressed stare Levi could muster before the wind was knocked out of him and he was falling on the sofa, as he heard the other shout. "That means the same, bastard!"

****

Eren was lying in his bed later that night, waiting for sleep to finally claim him. Thankfully, since the renovations he had been relocated into smaller rooms, as most of his cohort, and now only had to handle five or six people snoring instead of two dozens. Nonetheless, every small noise seemed way too loud for him that night, as he clutched his sheets close around him. This day had just been incredibly chaotic. After their celebrated return, the soldiers barely had the time to take a breath before officials and journalists were running after anyone who had taken part in the mission, eager to ear the good news for themselves. When they managed to escape the torrent of probing questions, they had all been immediately ordered to the showers. Apparently, the headquarters' other residents did not appreciate their week-long expedition perfume... As they finally thought they would have a moment to themselves, the whole squad was called to the main hall, where a special meal was served for them. Even though the scouts appreciated the attention, most of them simply wished they could be back in their bed and sleeping the rest of the day away. Oh, and of course, they were kindly reminded before they left not to forget to fill out their reports, which most people decided to do right away with a sigh. It was always best when the memories were fresh, unfortunately. As a shifter and key member of the operation, Eren not only had to fill out his written report, but also had to attend official meetings and verbally repeat about a hundred times what he had just taken his time to carefully spell out on a pretty sheet of paper. So obviously, when he tumbled onto his mattress many, many hours later, Eren was utterly exhausted. But to be fair, it hadn't even been the hectic schedule of the day that had drained him out so much. As soon as word of the completely successful mission came out, people started celebrating everywhere. Soldiers were found around a bottle or three, couples were making out in the halls, and the courtyards were filled with people confessing. E.v.e.r.y.w.h.e.r.e. Because it was now or never, right? Eren sighed heavily into his pillow, exasperated. It wasn't enough that he only got to be with the man he loved from way too far, he surely didn't need to be reminded of his loneliness at every step. He had been twitchy all day, snapping at everyone getting into his way, and maybe, maybe, hoping that he would get his own confession too. Of course, Levi never approached him, and barely looked at him during the meetings they both attended. Eren rubbed his eyes tiredly. This was it. If in the next weeks, he didn't hear from the captain, he would let go. Because if Levi did not want him now, he simply would not want him, ever. And Eren would have to respect that, even if it didn't feel right. Even if it hurt so bad to finally give up, after all these years. Levi deserved to be free from him, if he made clear that he truly did not want anything from Eren. And he was still young, he had plenty of time to find somebody else he would be happy with, right? It was the best thing to do. It had to be. Maybe if he repeated it enough, he would one day come to believe it. Just as he would come to believe that his pillow was fully dry, and not slowly getting wet from the moisture leaking from under his lashes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DID YOU SEE MY RWBY REFERENCE? DID YOU SEE IT? DID YOU? XD
> 
> Anywayyys thank you for reading! :D I might make an aside chapter about that night with Hanji and Levi and the next morning's confession... Would you like that? 
> 
> I'm still open to any suggestion on the development of this story, you know... X)


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